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“I am what time, circumstance, history, have made

of me, certainly, but I am, also, much more than that.

So are we all.” 

― James BaldwinNotes of a Native Son

I read a devotional yesterday. You know the type, where you read the words, pause, and stare out the window for several minutes, heaving deep breaths. Excerpt below, from Nicky Gumbel, a UK-based theologian.

Of all the prisons Pippa and I have visited around the world, this was the worst. It is in Lusaka, Zambia. The prison was built in 1950 for 250 men. Today it holds over 1,300. The cells, which were built to hold 50, are now home to over 150 men. They are locked in these cells from 8pm until 8am in the morning. There isn’t enough room for all of them to lie down at the same time. They have to take it in turns. The stench and the heat in those cells must be almost unbearable. If the prisoners do not have AIDS or tuberculosis when they enter the prison, they are likely to become infected soon after.

The cells surround a courtyard, which is at the center of the prison. We held a service there. Maybe because there was nothing else to do, virtually every one of the inmates attended. The service was led by a man who had been awaiting trial for four years. He was a Christian pastor who was accused of some minor offense (for which the penalty in England would probably have been a small fine, had he been convicted). Though he may well have been innocent, this man had been languishing in a prison for four years, unconvicted, without trial, not knowing when he would be released – if ever.

I will never forget his opening words as he began to lead the service:

God is good – all the time.’

And scene.

When I snapped back from a pensive, blinking gaze, weighing the unfathomable; thoughts came to mind. The man’s delusion is deep, or Christ is real. I choose to believe the latter, due to the evidence I’ve seen around the world and first-hand. I’ve met incarcerated men who reflect the same faith, who told me one after another, “The best thing in my life was going to prison, because I met Jesus Christ.” Their delusion is deep, or Christ is real.

Those men are part of the Prison Entrepreneurship Program. Their CEO, Bryan Kelley, is a dear friend, and his life film worthy. He did 22 years in what he refers to as “time out,” for the murder of a drug dealer. While locked up, he earned his degree in psychology, and was introduced to Christ. He went before the parole board 12 times to forgive his life sentence, similar to Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption. Bryan, on the 13th review, was paroled. What did he do?… He asked if he could stay another year to complete the PEP program. Yep, I picked up my jaw too. His delusion is deep, or Christ is real.

We’re all captives, whether behind bars or not. Fear can form a prison around us, as can hate, or achievement. When each day brings escalation of a virus, our fear of the unknown increases. This is where the playing field gets leveled for all. As we isolate due to social distancing, our four walls become prisons, particularly if we allow our vibrant minds to run rampant. For Christ followers, we have verses like these in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5,

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

In this section of Corinthians, Paul is defending the veracity of his authority and ministry. We must do the same, when using scripture as a remedy for fear. In our current climate, I do pray for Christ to take my fear-based thoughts captive. Lord, help provide calm as we get edgier each day.

I’m fascinated with how I/we doubt when our circumstances are challenged. A friend this week reminded what the good book highlights, Jesus said we’ll have troubles (John 16:33). Yet I stick my fingers in my ears, “La-la-la-la” and disregard what I don’t like. There’s the telltale sign, do I view scripture as the one, timeless truth? Pandemics force me to choose, whether He has overcome all challenges. Our delusion is deep, or Christ is real.

See ya next time. ML

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